ipod top 25

Church Isn't Cool

It never was and never will be, despite all attempts at making worship contemporary by appealing to the "young generation." Back in the day, parishioners didn't parishon in the hopes of looking cool or coming into contact with anything remotely cool, hip, or trendy. They went to get the sperrit. They went to be told of their unworthiness to eat so much as the crumbs from under God's table; to hear what miserable sinners they were and wring their calloused hands in guilt.

They went to hear juicy gossip, and the gossip was much juicier then. Who got pregnant and sent off in shame to the troubled-young-women's home? Who was seen buying liquor? Who was seen disappearing down the old garden path with a sheep under one arm and a blanket and package of lard beneath the other?

They didn't go to wave their hands around in the air "directing their praise" at the bigscreen TV while singing labotomized Jimmy Buffet-esque contemporary Christian muzak. Have attention spans shortened this much? This CCM shit is little more than a chorus ad infinitum. Where is the Battle Hymn of the Republic of this generation? On a Toby Keith album?

Julia Ward Howe, I've got your back.

Mad props to the Rev. Charles Wesley.

Isaac Watts, represent.

Corporate Christian Rock Still Sucks.

So pull the plug already. If this is what it takes to put ass in pew, what's the point? Stop bending over to the prevailing and ongoing dumbing-down of society. Stop vying for the lead in the race to the bottom. Is corporate sponsorship next? Wal-Mart Praise Centres?

Have some compassion for God's sake. If the Christian Church is dying, let it go. It had a long, full life. It justified all different types of horrible shit, wiped out entire civilizations and always came up smelling like roses regardless of however much blood was on its hands. Not many people can say that, so the least we can do is give it the dignified burial refused to so many others.